The Black Pearl .

Fifteen men on a dead man's chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Drink and the devil had done for the rest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.
The mate was fixed by the bosun's pike
The bosun brained with a marlinspike
And cookey's throat was marked belike
It had been gripped by fingers ten;
And there they lay, all good dead men
Like break o'day in a boozing ken
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

Fifteen men of the whole ship's list
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Dead and be damned and the rest gone whist!
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
The skipper lay with his nob in gore
Where the scullion's axe his cheek had shore
And the scullion he was stabbed times four
And there they lay, and the soggy skies
Dripped down in up-staring eyes
In murk sunset and foul sunrise
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

Fifteen men of 'em stiff and stark
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Ten of the crew had the murder mark!
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Twas a cutlass swipe or an ounce of lead
Or a yawing hole in a battered head
And the scuppers' glut with a rotting red
And there they lay, aye, damn my eyes
Looking up at paradise
All souls bound just contrawise
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

Fifteen men of 'em good and true
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Ev'ry man jack could ha' sailed with Old Pew,
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
There was chest on chest of Spanish gold
With a ton of plate in the middle hold
And the cabins riot of stuff untold,
And they lay there that took the plum
With sightless glare and their lips struck dumb
While we shared all by the rule of thumb,
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

More was seen through a sternlight screen...
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Chartings undoubt where a woman had been
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.
'Twas a flimsy shift on a bunker cot
With a dirk slit sheer through the bosom spot
And the lace stiff dry in a purplish blot
Oh was she wench or some shudderin' maid
That dared the knife and took the blade
By God! she had stuff for a plucky jade
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

Fifteen men on a dead man's chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Drink and the devil had done for the rest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.
We wrapped 'em all in a mains'l tight
With twice ten turns of a hawser's bight
And we heaved 'em over and out of sight,
With a Yo-Heave-Ho! and a fare-you-well
And a sudden plunge in the sullen swell
Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell,
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

Originally named the Wicked Wench (the Wicked Wench is the ship from the Pirates of the Caribbean attraction, which is shown shelling a fort), the Black Pearl was a ship that was registered to the East India Trading Co. and owned by Lord Cutler Beckett. It was commissioned to Jack Sparrow, who was asked to bring some cargo over from Africa. However, when Captain Sparrow learned that the "cargo" was West African slaves, he set them free. The furious Beckett had the Wench sunk, removed Sparrow from his position, and branded him a pirate. Sparrow eventually grew to like his new position, but wanted his ship back. He made a deal with Davy Jones, captain of the Flying Dutchman: if he would resurrect the Wicked Wench, Jack would owe Jones his soul after being captain for thirteen years. Jones kept his end, and the resurrected ship was rechristened the Black Pearl.
Jack then went to Tortuga to find a crew for his ship. Two years after, the Pearl was heading to the mysterious Isla de Muerta where the legendary Chest of Cortés was hidden. Captain and crew agreed to equal shares of the treasure, but First mate Barbossa persuaded Jack that equal shares included knowing the treasure's location. Jack complied, and soon after Barbossa led a mutiny and marooned Jack on an island.
The crew found the Aztec gold, which they quickly frittered away on food, drink and prostitutes, unaware of a curse placed on it by an ancient Aztec overlord: that anyone who stole the coins would become an undead being, unable to eat, drink or feel anything, and that only Moonlight would reveal their true form. The cursed pirates were soon hideous living skeletons with tattered flesh and clothing clinging to their bones. Even the Pearl was affected, becoming constantly shrouded in an eerie mist (although the ship itself was not cursed; it was merely the curse's effect upon its crew).

There's this man with a bald head and a wooden leg who gets invited to a fancy dress party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain the problem.

A few days later he receives a parcel with a note. "Dear Sir, please find enclosed a pirates outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your baldhead and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate".

The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasised his wooden leg and so he writes a really rude letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and a note which says "Dear Sir, sorry about before, please find enclosed a Monks habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part".

Now the man is really annoyed since they have gone from emphasising his wooden leg to emphasising his bald head and he writes the company a REALLY rude letter of complaint. The next day he receives a small parcel and a note which reads.....

"Dear Sir, please find enclosed a tin of treacle. Pour the tin of treacle over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple, you idiot."

Surgery will be open 14.00 to 14.30 (Weekdays only) during the vacation. Try not to have any emergencies 'out of hours'! ~ Doctor Fish

Why don't pirates make good life guards?
They dont know C.P. ARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

Davy Jones has got a bigger crew than us!

http://do-you-fear-death.blog.co.uk/

.....who's got the rum?

Welcome aboard !